On politicians...

Do we really need politicians? Seriously? Do we?

All they do is play "politics", whack tax payers' money, talk shit on the media, make a fool out of themselves whenever they can and allegedly even blow up hot chicks!

I think we need more leaders... not politicians. We need leaders with real leadership skills... not stupid politicians!

On driving in Malaysia

In Malaysia, we have really stupid politicians. They can make billion-dollar decisions on issues like national service, crooked bridge, mega projects, crony projects... and the likes but take 2453456 years to decide on whether to increase the speed limit or not... from 110kmh to 120kmh... which is really a no-brainer since the average speed on Malaysians highways is 140kmh. When was the last time you drove from KL to Singapore at 110kmm all the way? If you did, I bet you felt like the lamest driver on the whole stretch didn't you?

How long is it going to take to complete all the studies and finally increase the speed limit? How many millions do you need to claim for those studies? I hate driving slow... I hate paying summons... I hate causing accidents... yes contrary to popular belief, slow and annoying drivers cause more accidents than fast drivers. If you want to dispute this... go and do your own research!

Since we're on the topic of driving... I should also make a note that despite what the statistics say, female drivers cause more accidents on the road compared to men. I'll let you in on the secret of why the statistics are highly skewed... when was the last time any woman you knew reported an accident under her own name?? Genius! Yes I am! Women always get their daddys, hubbys, brothers or sometimes friends to report for them... mainly for insurance purposes because the cars are usually registered under their daddys, hubbys, brothers or sometimes friends. This my friends is why I strongly believe the stats are fished up and doesn't reflect the truth. Saudi Arabia may not be popular with the feminist community (FYI, women can't drive in Saudi) worldwide... but maybe they got it right after all!

Ladies... pissed off? Learn to drive properly will ya?

On hot Malaysian girls...

Malaysian girls are simply gorgeous... oh yes... super hot. Partly due to the year-long sun tan and mix of various ethnicity. So why am I pissed about it? Somehow, the really gorgeous ones don't make it to tv. We get to watch ugly ass girls pretending to be A-list celebrities on local tv all the time. The really pretty one are usually half-white! That doesn't count ,you shithead media people. We just gotten used to it I guess... but its still annoying to see those mediocre celebrities "acting" gorgeous.

But then... God is gracious as always... he created mobile video technology. Due to this popular technology, we get to download and watch videos of the hot girl-next-door in serious hardcore action for free! Some of these girls can easily put even famous pornstars to shame... so much of skills, such balance, great assets... the whole package is just awesome. Who needs tv when you have free porn on the internet?

The bad part is... usually the girls don't even know that their videos are freely available online. Go on... hump like bunnies... but why do you have to record it? You know your shit ass bf is going to show em' to his friends... and when you break up, its all going online! Even if he doesn't leak it, there are so many other ways your videos can make it to the web. For example, when you send your handphones or computers for repair.... you know the geek at the repair shop is going to download all your files... yes ALL your files before even trying to figure out the problem with your devices. FYI, hiding folders and files are not the most genius way to protest your filth.

So the next time you decide to bonk in front of the camera... think about how it might end up on the internet one day and your grandkids will be watching it on their super HD laptops in the future... unless you want them to watch grandma sucking dick... turn off the camera!

But if you're Singaporean, I guess it's the latest trend now... so no comments about that.

On stereotypes in Malaysia...

So the Malays are lazy & stupid... the Chinese are greedy... and the Indians cheat? You would have heard these, countless times in many variations if you're a Malaysian... but do you really agree with it? How can you not?

If the stereotypes are so popular... and almost all of the 25 million Malaysians know about em'... and somehow can even relate to em'... there must be some truth in it don't you think? So instead of calling em' stereotypes... why can't we just be honest and call em' what they are... the truth!

Nah... that'll be too sensitive for this country... people will get sensitive... and upset and start burning shit on the streets... which is alright with the police... as long as they are not Indians... because as we know, only Indians can get violent and destructive when they march on the streets... others will never get so bad so they can protest on the streets anytime and even burn shit without any proper permits. Probably because they are deemed too lazy to start up any serious violence.

I guess if you say your prayers before the protests, it just makes it all perfect!

On Singapore... show some love neighbour!

Hello Malaysia... good ol' Malaysia! We may not be the greatest nation in the world... Jamaica is... yes, we may not be the greatest nation in the world but we are definitely better than Singapore... you know why?

Because they keep stealing shit from us and claiming it to be their own. You watch those shitty ass travel shows on Astro and you'll know what i'm talking about... ignorant Singaporeans claiming that "Penang" char koey teow is an authentic Singaporean hawker food... it says frickin' PENANG on the signboard you ignorant piece of shit... how Singaporean can PENANG get? Then you get those idiots claiming "Lah" to be Singaporean too... c'mon guys... enough of this shit!

First you take our island, then you take our food and language with you.... then you come back now and then to take more small islands away from us... you give us Malaysians jobs... I ain't gonna be ungrateful about that shit... credit to you guys... but c'mon... stop claiming what's ours to be yours in the international media all the time. You like our shit... we'll share it with you... we're cool like that.... but stop calling it yours!

Show some love... share, don't take!

I'm pissed off all the time... oh and welcome!

I'm just a Joe Brown... just another Indian boy in the great country we call Malaysia. Stop being stupid and assume my religion based on my race now... I know in your mind you already have. For the record, i'm not a Hindu boy... I wonder when the "Oi anak Hindu!" calls will stop. Just pisses me off everytime someone calls me that... its either that or "thamby"... you know who does that... I bet it pisses you off too!

Yeah that's right... I'm pissed off all the time! Too many stupid things going on around me... crazy politics, crazy economy, crazy people... dumbass Malaysians who can't stop talking about Palestine... c'mon get over it people... yes all of you... it's not our war! You were not this upset when the planes flew into the twin towers... you were not this upset when the bombs blew in London, you were not this upset when the frickin' militants ripped up Mumbai... I bet your ass you are ignorant about all the hundreds of thousands of people gettin hacked down with machetes in Africa in racial conflicts all the time...  so why the fish are you so upset now? Those frickin' Hamas dudes just can't stop launching rockets into Israel... didn't they think for a second that Israel is going to turn around one day and whoop their asses up to heaven?

So why don't us, the peaceful people of Malaysia just shut up and take care of our own country first. Let's listen to Hindraf before they start blowing shit up... let's listen to other minority groups who are not happy with their living conditions here... let's make this country work right people... before we stick our noses into others'.  This is not being "insensitive"... this is being practical. IF you're too bothered about the Gaza strip... then please stop talking about it and make your way there and fight!

If you're still into the whole boycott American goods campaign shit... please stop wasting your time. Lets not cripple our own economy in a vain effort to make a point! Love this country guys... love it! Don't hate me for speaking the truth... haters are losers...